I have a week at the beach with May a peach to eat to get myself jump-started arted as in I have stretched canvases to paint here, body surf, swim, write, ignite and coast on and surf my passions and delve deep into myself! Sunday July 21 2024 at 8;51am just getting started!

 

To open up myself to my tiredness pass over

I am drudged dragged deep letharge to barge 

To charge forth from now as I have enough had

Of my time been wasted must stop that, must too

Get fat off my waist so here goes everything I yes

Give give push thrust  bust burst my eternal life

Thirst is present is here is with almost ten virgin

Whites stretches canvases waiting to be to pluck

Pluck plucked with acrylics and  more, finger 

Prints strokes dashes splashes glues things attacked

Attached teeth gnashed this is where I start star my

Must for art for life for leaving, too my footprint my

Soul individual spiritual gut strut where as embryo

Ho Ho hot the water sail man sail baby boy once in

Mom did i stat round full belly grow big to have my

Head from her pulled and distorted to have to be re-

Shaped so much to the tune that the doctors did not

Know how I would be effected and this I learned 

From my brother at 70 so distraught was he to tell 

Me this and my response being , so what!?!  What

Am I supposed to do with this now!? I have lived

My life happily and lovingly and am blessed to have

Been able to do so! Lucky man am I to be kind and

Loving, to be sharing, caring and here as a part lucky

Of something so much bigger than myself and the sun

Just shining out here now at the beach i eat a peach!

Struggling to keep on track, focused, not weak, not deterred or spoon-fed so much elite powerhouse self-serving fakeries, downright lies, products I absolutely do not need!

 

I am convoluted flummoxed tired weakened

Worn out weathered wondered wandered loss

Lost lame , lacking focus on my planned purps

As in purposes of goals to finalize to put up now

Front and enter to see realized prized surprised 

Enacted entertained brought forth to be seen and

Heard and enjoyed as it is that time for me to go

Forward and loose ends loose threads loose ways

Be paved and available to all for purchases and yes

 

Collaborations, sales, into new abodes, homes igloos

Tents teepees bulls caves cellars apartments homes

Wherever peops live, gather, discuss, break bread 

Toast clink clink tim tim love laugh linger read

Roar roast plat Twister Monopoly jumping jacks

Sing listen platt musical instruments cook climb! 

Everything must realign, slowly but my butt surely, as well, must be,t he rest, the thinking leading to acting, no other recourse!

 WHY why oooohhhhh why, must I cry!?! 

I dost sure cure curly once up, uncurl unfurl

Get to stand up, twirl, swirl gargle, spit out

Like a frantic rainbow trout, make a dash a 

Real swim up stream, a way from self doubt,

I am determined having been long in deters

Of my determining ton kick my fucking ass

My face slapped, no more just tap or pinch

More of gnash, patient, be constant now in

My steps in a plan not a dream, but a map

Of HOW to, how now brown cow, moving on

That rhyme, that child, that imp, that teaser 

Tester will more in silence move onto,mupon,

Along, a hum , yes, a silent song, my words

Of encouragement, of positive action to accomplish

I must finish in doing in connecting and collecting

And assessing that which in pieces I have done in

So many spurts and spins and moments all my life.

I am finally seeing clearly my moment now, it’s 

Importance, relevance to me at this stage where I

Have often not been the center but the side and now

I must present those efforts of my past for a closer

Broader deeper inspection to see what response,

What acts and collabs as in bor bor Ations I can

Ignite invite bite site serious and trite with all my

Might might might, just be, more now, become,

Right!? For this I must fight delight us yes incite!

It is National nude day and night as well as France’s Bastille Day and I am celebrating both as well as my new found self realigned, redesigned redefined, remeasured , remade, slow and steady like the tortoise or the toad standing still, waiting to outstretch its tongue for a morsel so tasty of fly , bug or mouth, dinner is served! Et voila, c’est bien comme ca, je marche dand une facon seule, libre et sans amis!

 

I have accepted my loneliness as my best friend

Second only to my own self and body as me as

Myself,MAs no one else, bearing & baring my

Life through my acts of actions small steps so

Often that amount to something lie the moving

Of a stone I dig up to now often transplant some

Ferns and ground cover to widen my narrow so 

Oooohhhhhhh yes overgrown path on the side of

Our house as happily married I am to both my

Friend and my wife so many shared memories now

Together such life we have shared weathered treasured!

I made my commitment to her and that I will honor in

My own fashion as I move forward to promote my art 

And find homes for it to delight others I hope and strive 

To  ensure before I close my eyes one last time or have

Them closed for me! So today and tonight I celebrate

Bastille Day and Night and will soon disappear ton strip

Away myvshorts and be naked in my private traipse cavorts

Hell and heaven I am sure to let escape, too some snorts!

Garden thoughts on flowers in full gladness glow Thursday morning now at 9:27am when I get ready to let flow my poem here!

 Await my poem , it is still to come soon! Tony 7/11/2024

                                                   I am ready now uncertain afraid as I am

                                                   Of only my own stupid hold-backs holding

                                                   Me as if I was only a pawn to be moved 

                                                  Against my will to accomplish that which

                                                  I purposely do not allow myself to see as I

                                                  Fall into old habits overthinking my past &

                                                 Losing track of the here and my own pow now

                                                 I have focused on my immediate as in my leis-

                                                 Ure pleasure and been distracted attracted away

                                                 Away not okay, yet I find I am as consternated 

                                                 Have been growing alerted more to my nd to

                                                 Now this these moments finish what I have so

                                                  Very much accomplished far thus which is a lot!

                                                I am giving, I always give, I want to please I 

                                                Forget myself in my giving and now I must so

                                               To myself start to give in deeds my acts my

                                               Moves my missions my missives my mights

                                               My gasps mine  grasps me and I glees glads so

                                               Inwards in disciplines in purposes in focuses

                                               They are all there for I have not been idle no!

                                               In my very own designed by me WAY have

                                               produced much to be very proud of in my own

                                               Way in silence in steadfast earnest podding so    

                                                Practiced unrehearsed uncharted groping way

                                                My gut has been my compass it has had the say

                                               It has judged my path once I have embarked &

                                               Tat only have I heeded, listened, accepted, felt

                                               Inside I out I sigh I sad I safe I see I sate I self

                                               Say to myself that my doings & I must be okay

                                               More than that I use forward & act out senses all

                                               Mine in my mark my bark my lark my arc tarp!

                                               I will find my sleep my slumber my lumber my

                                               Sun and light the next day dreaming alone ost

                                               My wandering asleep are lonely dark disturbed

                                               I need to assert myself more than ever to return

                                              To some happier night sleeping wanders as wander

                                               Lost and alone and miserably bereft they are so

                                               Very unsatisfied be they be I be unsatisfied sad

                                                I am so much better than all of that I so know!

                                                And now I take a break and start again soon

                                                I am so fortunate to know I do not deserve a

                                                An advantage a privilege 2 have a silver spoon!

                                                           I would rather be naked now and live

                                                          Without cloths whenever possible so

                                                          Comfortable at home outdoors with 

                                                           Others named, too, and yet the thought

                                                          Of being naked with some will be hard

                                                           For me to adjust to as of social norms

                                                           Jealousies and upsets caused by naked

                                                           Bodies and shame and fear and feelings

                                                            

                                                           Nowhere to hide and that self conscious 

                                                           I am not worried about that myself not

                                                           Really judge me as you certainly will

                                                           I will not hide  or takeO fort in social 

                                                           Customs and that suits me just fine! I

                                                           Must stand up for the naked man I am

                                                           For so long hidden behind loathing &

                                                           Ready to be seen by all naked as born

                                                            Let this now be our norm not porn not

                                                            Fearful or shameful or dirty it may be

                                                            A bit flirty we are all human should be

                                                            Loudful bareful skinful hairful proudful!

                                                            Come on down and strip away 2 nude!

                                                          The wall of silence moving forth the

                                                           Wrong audience the peops so few so

                                                            Lack of peeps & solace of bird and

                                                            Chipmunk scamps so tramps so yes

                                                             Brisk and swift crossings on deck

                                                             Solaced entertainment surrounded in

                                                             Sunlit colors abound around astound!

                                                             Helping that wall of empty e-space 

                                                             That plain that hill valley gorge ravine

                                                             Be it glaring to me ‘tween us and our 

                                                              Connections of understandings miss

                                                              Bliss piss fist grist hiss a real divide

                                                              That social norms easy pat we by abide

                                                              So easy to slip thus to into to harbor us

                                                              Painful communication so not really no

                                                              Empty fake false satisfactions an’t get

                                                              Where is my mic when I desperate 4 it

                                                               So now need I won’t at all plead no I

                                                               Resolute in mine quest proceed in a

                                                               Vacuum a void a vacuous volition so

                                                                Void annoyed toy’ed teased tested

                                                                Others off deployed I rest I turn I so

                                                               Struggle one lone alone muggle I

                                                               Want that touch some warmth 2 snuggle

                                                               That really should be no trouble Xcept

                                                               For our social mores that are really not

                                                               Social at all rather divisive up knot tie!

                                                               But I kick my butt I squeeze my nut i

                                                               Rely in much loneliness in mine gut!

Je suis , oui, je suis vivant , VRAIment meme heureux!

C’est bien lequatorze Juillet Dimanche! Je suis prete 

Pour bien apprecier ce jour la Bastille Day Jour oui oui!

Tout Va bien je suis dehors dans notre jardin avant de 

commencer Mon boulot au magasin des vins fins a

Washington DC 20008 a CLeveland Park quartier!

Joindre-moi , on peut marcher ensemble et partager

Nos experiencesensembles ou celebataire au fin des

Journees bien reussi pour nous a conus meme seule!

J’aime bien cette idea, est ce Que tu est bien d’accord?

Un verre de champagne Grand Cru pour bien celebrer?!

I am convoluted for sure yet clarifying by the day and night!

I have one foot in my job enabling wine enjoyment, and one 

Out flirting seriously with ar enabling my continuing on to now

Finish so much of what I have started! My job is largely done

Now with wine as I see and feel how so many have moved on

And no longer seek my advice and so it is time for me to turn my

Attentions to myself and my art pursuits which I love and live so

Furiously in disarray play dismay astray way way , sway sashay!

I am learning so much about myself as I turn inwards more with more 

Time to focus on my goals and dreams and paths so many so often so

Knocking constant at my door, at my window, I love my life so and feel

So privileged to be and to feel so alive now as rain drops start to fall on 

And hit the umbrella above me alerting e to the real possibility of much

More rain to soon fall from the skies as they are milked and given relief!

I am so blessed, I am such a mess, I have so much to still lean up, I have

So much to fundamentally yes seems like radically change and rearrange

In myself and my actions as to better grip that which I have courted and

Played with and followed and learned from in my doings and now it is

Time to gather and promote and organize and sell if possible those doings

So that they all find good homes, lodgings, places to be ,to shine to feel

Loved, appreciated, welcomed, better understood and experienced as we

All should, get those priorities gathered, outlined, dealt with, realized!

It is a gargantuan task that I chip steadily away at now all the time focused!

On my loneliness I forge myself forth / I purge and urge and splurge myself / deny denial deflect determine / I declutter myself soooooo!

 

I am cross-roaming-roading-unloading-gathering

All the time, I see I sense I toy boy grasp grip try

Satisfy smile smirk strum hum jerk jack me my I

Mine myself trigger traipse trance eyes close so

Imagine image images so powerful more than that

On the internet that always begs all ways sells ‘n

Preys yes so evil dastardly systematically steals

Feeds on , feasts off what is not theirs as it can as

Stop it not we let it grow we let it happen we are

Oblivious sooooooooooo oft often of the mean the 

Cruel the devastation our denials our indifferences

Make on our presents, more on our futures as web

Turn inwards and are more pliable malleable easy

 To manipulate and we must put a stop to all of this

Really once and for all now we must do this ASAP!

So much outer noise I have blocked it out! I am turning inwards to focus on my “ doings “ that are semi-structured, giving me space I need uninterrupted!

                             Life is my grasp within

                             Time is my path without

                             Self-doubt is lurking in me

                             I must do an about - face 2

                             Face not tearful no fearful!

                             I have found help inside out

I swim with all my might like a wild trout!?

                                                                          I cannot miss my mission

                          

Like a commission, a consult

I use my inner Guinea pig , 

       I am my very best subject alway 

subject subjected to change!

I have no real wheel to steal

   As I want to breeze bust unrest!

                                                              I thought I was typing unrust and

                                                              Unrest came up by my doing or

                                                              By auto-correct, I will have none

                                                              Of correct, I only want to flow so

                                                              All my training becomes untrained

                                                              And gut functions me instinctively

                                                              Fuck artificial intelligence I want

                                                              My very own active intelligence to

                                                              Guide me on my very own person

                                                              Of my own person of acting mind

                                                              Mindful to respect my selfish gut.    

                                                              Alone for the most part constant

                                                              Re-direct, my own inflect, of me!