Await my poem , it is still to come soon! Tony 7/11/2024
I am ready now uncertain afraid as I am
Of only my own stupid hold-backs holding
Me as if I was only a pawn to be moved
Against my will to accomplish that which
I purposely do not allow myself to see as I
Fall into old habits overthinking my past &
Losing track of the here and my own pow now
I have focused on my immediate as in my leis-
Ure pleasure and been distracted attracted away
Away not okay, yet I find I am as consternated
Have been growing alerted more to my nd to
Now this these moments finish what I have so
Very much accomplished far thus which is a lot!
I am giving, I always give, I want to please I
Forget myself in my giving and now I must so
To myself start to give in deeds my acts my
Moves my missions my missives my mights
My gasps mine grasps me and I glees glads so
Inwards in disciplines in purposes in focuses
They are all there for I have not been idle no!
In my very own designed by me WAY have
produced much to be very proud of in my own
Way in silence in steadfast earnest podding so
Practiced unrehearsed uncharted groping way
My gut has been my compass it has had the say
It has judged my path once I have embarked &
Tat only have I heeded, listened, accepted, felt
Inside I out I sigh I sad I safe I see I sate I self
Say to myself that my doings & I must be okay
More than that I use forward & act out senses all
Mine in my mark my bark my lark my arc tarp!
I will find my sleep my slumber my lumber my
Sun and light the next day dreaming alone ost
My wandering asleep are lonely dark disturbed
I need to assert myself more than ever to return
To some happier night sleeping wanders as wander
Lost and alone and miserably bereft they are so
Very unsatisfied be they be I be unsatisfied sad
I am so much better than all of that I so know!
And now I take a break and start again soon
I am so fortunate to know I do not deserve a
An advantage a privilege 2 have a silver spoon!
I would rather be naked now and live
Without cloths whenever possible so
Comfortable at home outdoors with
Others named, too, and yet the thought
Of being naked with some will be hard
For me to adjust to as of social norms
Jealousies and upsets caused by naked
Bodies and shame and fear and feelings
Nowhere to hide and that self conscious
I am not worried about that myself not
Really judge me as you certainly will
I will not hide or takeO fort in social
Customs and that suits me just fine! I
Must stand up for the naked man I am
For so long hidden behind loathing &
Ready to be seen by all naked as born
Let this now be our norm not porn not
Fearful or shameful or dirty it may be
A bit flirty we are all human should be
Loudful bareful skinful hairful proudful!
Come on down and strip away 2 nude!
The wall of silence moving forth the
Wrong audience the peops so few so
Lack of peeps & solace of bird and
Chipmunk scamps so tramps so yes
Brisk and swift crossings on deck
Solaced entertainment surrounded in
Sunlit colors abound around astound!
Helping that wall of empty e-space
That plain that hill valley gorge ravine
Be it glaring to me ‘tween us and our
Connections of understandings miss
Bliss piss fist grist hiss a real divide
That social norms easy pat we by abide
So easy to slip thus to into to harbor us
Painful communication so not really no
Empty fake false satisfactions an’t get
Where is my mic when I desperate 4 it
So now need I won’t at all plead no I
Resolute in mine quest proceed in a
Vacuum a void a vacuous volition so
Void annoyed toy’ed teased tested
Others off deployed I rest I turn I so
Struggle one lone alone muggle I
Want that touch some warmth 2 snuggle
That really should be no trouble Xcept
For our social mores that are really not
Social at all rather divisive up knot tie!
But I kick my butt I squeeze my nut i
Rely in much loneliness in mine gut!
Je suis , oui, je suis vivant , VRAIment meme heureux!
C’est bien lequatorze Juillet Dimanche! Je suis prete
Pour bien apprecier ce jour la Bastille Day Jour oui oui!
Tout Va bien je suis dehors dans notre jardin avant de
commencer Mon boulot au magasin des vins fins a
Washington DC 20008 a CLeveland Park quartier!
Joindre-moi , on peut marcher ensemble et partager
Nos experiencesensembles ou celebataire au fin des
Journees bien reussi pour nous a conus meme seule!
J’aime bien cette idea, est ce Que tu est bien d’accord?
Un verre de champagne Grand Cru pour bien celebrer?!
I am convoluted for sure yet clarifying by the day and night!
I have one foot in my job enabling wine enjoyment, and one
Out flirting seriously with ar enabling my continuing on to now
Finish so much of what I have started! My job is largely done
Now with wine as I see and feel how so many have moved on
And no longer seek my advice and so it is time for me to turn my
Attentions to myself and my art pursuits which I love and live so
Furiously in disarray play dismay astray way way , sway sashay!
I am learning so much about myself as I turn inwards more with more
Time to focus on my goals and dreams and paths so many so often so
Knocking constant at my door, at my window, I love my life so and feel
So privileged to be and to feel so alive now as rain drops start to fall on
And hit the umbrella above me alerting e to the real possibility of much
More rain to soon fall from the skies as they are milked and given relief!
I am so blessed, I am such a mess, I have so much to still lean up, I have
So much to fundamentally yes seems like radically change and rearrange
In myself and my actions as to better grip that which I have courted and
Played with and followed and learned from in my doings and now it is
Time to gather and promote and organize and sell if possible those doings
So that they all find good homes, lodgings, places to be ,to shine to feel
Loved, appreciated, welcomed, better understood and experienced as we
All should, get those priorities gathered, outlined, dealt with, realized!
It is a gargantuan task that I chip steadily away at now all the time focused!